Eventhough, i had a crappy day y'day.
But, today, i met some friend..
they know that i am stressed because of the big events things going on.
My boss, my supervisor, my friends, my silly friends came to talk to me
because they know i shouldnt be treated like that.
I know there are still somebody who cares about me.
Eventhough, i am not american.:O)
I am proud to be chinese who live at a foreign country because i did it.
Today, i met some people acted with a shallow mind.
They thought they are better than anyone because they are american.
They thought everyone except american is dumb.
Sometime, I wonder why I am so far away from home.
And trying to blend in to the culture and custom for a better life.
I WONDER why I am so far away from mom, dad, and families.
I wonder why I am so far away from sor po and sor lou.
And I have to be alone so far away.
Today, i felt so lonely.
I know I always like to challenge myself.
I know I can do it.
I always stand back up whenever i fell.
But, I really hate someone discriminate me because of my skin color.
I am not stupid.
Hmm..
last night i had a wonderful conversation with jeannie and sinian.....
;O)
Very simple...
Just a simple chat.. sharing song..
sharing thought..
hmm.. and we all make a deal.
we said when we get old,
we will go to supermarket to kai kai..
Just all the old ladies and old man..
helping each other to get toilet rolls,
compare where to get the cheapest veggie,
pushing the shopping cart,
buying tau fu and cook a delicious meal onces a while.
jumping up to get the can foods at top shelf,
making loud of noise around ,
helping each others to get grocery.
people will stare at us," what are those popo and gong gong doing here'
hahaha...
i told jeannie, i miss those old days we always go to mid-valley, one-utama kai kai ya.
miss you all..
:o)
yesterday, it was the most scary night ever.
it was my first time, i had struggled through my sleep.
Having my laptop besides me doesnt really help me this time.
I always thought that i could handle my stress from work, study, and personal life.
I am good at handling my own stress.
unfortunately, not this time.
But, last night, i totally felt that i couldnt breath,
i couldnt focus at all.
i am stress and i am not happy.
i am worried because i am scared it will become of of the mentally disorder.
these days, i dont want to talk to people.
not even, my sor po, sor lou and my families.
i just want to be alone.
and dont want to see anyone..
joke with anyone.
hang out with anyone.
Somehow, i felt more comfortable when i am alone.
Maybe i am sick of faking myself in front of others.
CELINE CHANG...
HANG IN THERE..pls..
hang in there... pls
i am feeling depressed and stress
i have so many things to do.
i am stress
i need a way to relax..
你真的曾经来过我的世界吗？
如果有，
我为什么会让你离开我身边。
如果没有，
为什么我的心会这么痛。
你走了以后，
你的味道会慢慢散去，
你的样子会慢慢模糊。
我只希望，
你能留下一个东西，
让我证明你有来过我的世界。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
我有你的回忆。。
还有那模糊的味道。。
让我想起我曾经幸福过。。
谢谢！！
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
Spread the love around by helping others
Please Join.. and it doesnt hurt you at all.
Early this morning, i had a dream about someone passed away.
And, suddenly my alarm clock rang , and my dream was gone.
I am half sleep on my bed. Finally, struggled for 1 hour,
Finally, i need to wake up and refresh myself to class.
The first thing i did was went online and see who is online at that moment.
I saw my sister caption stated" Your smile is always with us, we are regret we didnt see you, [Peace in Heaven]"..
I have that gut feeling something is wrong somewhere.
She told me our loved " Kio Po" has passed away .
She is one of the nicest old po po who always love us so much.
She is my far relative in our life. She took care of us when we were youn
Whenever i met her,
she always said
"Wei Wei, Sit Bao Mao?"
"Wei Wei, Hai Hao Mao?"
"Wei Wei, Sit Ha Beng?"
"Wei Wei, Oau Ho Lan Shui Mao?"
....
And, her warmest smile..
I was shocked.
Because i was just thinking about my grandma who has been really sick these days.
My sister and i were trying not to think about our grandma situation.
Somehow, i felt so empty because i really want to go home and give my grandma a hug.
Or just to be with her...
Grandma, Please get well soon.
We love you so much.
I went to the bathroom.
I cried while having my shower. I remembered baby said she likes rainy day because nobody knows she is crying.
I totally understand that.
Life is full with love.
Life is unpredictable.
So, please share our love to someone who we think is important to us.
And, never regret to show your love to someone special.
Rest In Heaven, Peace in Heaven, Qiu Po..
My prayers and thoughts are always with you... :O)
Mom is going to have a interview with the US embassy this monday.
I am so excited because i really want mom to get the tourist visa.
Well, i guess it wont be a big problem because she had usa visa before when we came to usa in 1994.
And, i asked my university to send her an invitation letter as well.
I know she can get it..
I really want my mom to come over to meet my friends, meet my american friends, meet my host parents. meet my co-workers, stay at my apartment, go to wal-mart with me, show her the usa university and others.
I just have so much to share and show it to her.
I know she will loves it because she always loves usa system.
I wish my sor po and sor lou could come to my graduation as well.
I want them to share my happiness.
But, somehow, it's not that easy.
Well.. It's ok... because i know if they were here.. i know they will bring me flowers and stand in the line.. waiting for me.
Hahaha..
It was my third year being a Alpha Kapp Psi member.
Alpha Kapp Psi is a business fratenity recognized nationwide in USA.
And, i would say this year was the most memorable year being a brother of AKPs.
I learned lots from all my brothers.
Without them, i wont know how the american culture and system works.
On March 29, We are having our annually 2007 Idaho Business Leader of the year at PAC.
This time, i am in charge of the banquet that night.
I have been planning this banquet from last year. It take lots of effort and time of mine.
Sending out invitation,designing invitation, giving out reward, and working with all my brothers.
Teamworks tell us eventhough we are still a student at ISU.
We can make it. we can be as professional as the adult in the real business world.
My budget is 8000USD for the whole banquet.
I am expecting 250 ppl at the PAC that night.
People been asking.. can she do that?
I know i can.. because i know i can..
I am kind of nervous with the whole banquet because i want it to be perfect.
I want people to remember that Celine Chang did a wonderful job for IBOY.
hahaha..
I can do it.,
Dec 9, 2007
二零零七,十二月九日.
是我们的宝贝傻婆的大日子...
她要结婚了...
我们都很感动噢!!
我感动地哭了..
因为是快乐和幸福的..
很期待我们的大日子...
又是另一个快乐时光..
但是，我还不清楚我能够回家吗？
昨晚，她很高兴地告诉我们那个好消息。
我们，三个都得意忘形讨论我们该做些什么。。。
好像我们自己的婚礼一样。。
但是，我一点伤感。。
好像快失去她一样。。
我真的很希望我可以回家。。
做婚礼的Super VIP..
嘻嘻！！！！
另一方面，我总是开不出口告诉傻婆们，
“我可能只是可以远远地和她们一起庆祝”。。
Let's Pray..
恭喜噢！！！
Love you forever..
Our sor po.. friendship..
Put a smile in your face..
ok..
There are few sleepless night.
I just turn on my laptop...
Let the movie kept on playing until i felt asleep.
Hmm..
somehow, i dont even know when did i fell asleep.
I just dont feel safe and comfortable for my sleep these days.
No matter how much i sleep,
I felt tired as well.
.....
I recall the moment we went to the top of the hill,
we sat on the ground,
we lied on each other lap,
we counted the sparkling star,
we drunk wine
we shared each other secret
we enjoyed the night.
I miss you all... :O)
Someone told me :::::::::
好姐妹,
不一定要不断的刻意的保持联络
但是最重要的是,
你心里面,
有没有有给对方一个全然的祝福.
I totally agreed..
:O)
This two day.
i am been so so so free.
No exam. no work.. nothing..
no text message, no email...
And all my sor po, sou lou, even sinian are very busy these days.
So, i am just all by myself.
Didnt really talk to them these days..
So, i am just alone.
Listening to music..
Watching movie..
Cooking my own dinner..
It's just very quiet and simple.
The moment with myself.
今天，Baby的婆婆过世了。
对不起，有时候看见她真的好幸苦
因为认识她那么久了
她的事情是一波未平，一波又起
但是，她坚强了很多.
My prayers and thoughts are always with you.
Hang in there.
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